By Chelsea Handler
Whilst Chelsea Handler must get a couple of issues off her chest, she appeals to a better strength -- vodka. you are going to too should you discovered that your boyfriend was once having an affair with a Peekapoo or in the event you needed to faux to be honeymooning along with your father with the intention to improve to top quality. Welcome to Chelsea's international -- a spot the place absurdity reigns very best and a brief wit is the simplest defensive line.
In this hilarious, deliciously skewed assortment, Chelsea mines her prior for tales approximately her kin, relationships, and occupation which are right away singular and ridiculous. even if she's convincing her third-grade type that she has been tapped to play Goldie Hawn's daughter within the sequel to Private Benjamin, finding out to be extra egalitarian via relationship a redhead, or looking for a foulmouthed, rum-swilling little one that seems similar to her...only smaller, Chelsea has a knack for buying herself into the main outrageous events. Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea showcases the candor and impossible to resist turns of word that experience made her one of many most up to date voices in comedy at the present time.
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Unique book: 1996
The first Oprah e-book Club® number of 2001!
A long island occasions amazing Book
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Sample text
By the way,” I added. ” I left out the kicking-him-in-the-nuts part, because I didn’t want any of the blame in this scenario. James Sr. didn’t respond to what I said immediately, and when he did, he said, “I had a feeling things got hairy when I saw the back of your hair matted to your head. ” It was clear to me that James Sr. needed to leave his wife, but was one of those men who would never have the guts. Instead, he would rather suffer 90 percent of the time in anticipation of the small capsules of grown-up time he could have with her.
Wow! What a bummer,” he said. ” “Yup,” I told him. ” I had very little control of the things that were flying out of my mouth. All I knew was that it felt better than confessing. Plus, the idea of getting imaginary rock-hard abs was intoxicating. I knew then that Jason and I could never really build a solid partnership, mostly because our relationship had been based on inconsistencies. I spent the rest of the week confirming one ridiculous tale after another, and by Friday I was exhausted. Although the benefits of my newfound fame outweighed the burden of coming up with one celebrity tale after another, I was so disgusted and bored with myself after a week, I was ready to throw myself out of my second-story window.
I’d also like to thank Regan Books for letting me out of my contract with them. Contents CHAPTER ONE: Blacklisted CHAPTER TWO: Chelsea in Charge CHAPTER THREE: Prison Break CHAPTER FOUR: Bladder Stones CHAPTER FIVE: Big Red CHAPTER SIX: Dining in the Dark CHAPTER SEVEN: Dim Sum and Then Some CHAPTER EIGHT: Barking up the Wrong Tree CHAPTER NINE: Re-Gift CHAPTER TEN: Jumped CHAPTER ELEVEN: Mini-Me CHAPTER TWELVE: Costa Rica CHAPTER ONE Blacklisted I was nine years old and walking myself to school one morning when I heard the unfamiliar sound of a prepubescent boy calling my name.
