Groups by James Lingard

By James Lingard

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One obvious difficulty about this period for the family is that the returnee is safe. This, in itself, should be a cause for relief and excitement. Whereas relief is a common feeling once the returnee is home, after a few weeks have passed, many families start having problems getting along or talking with one another. Like Josh, it is common for returnees to be significantly affected by their experience in war, and they may relate differently than they previously did. Like Sarah, family members may feel like their loved one doesn’t love them as much.

Building/Informing At the beginning of this process, the family will start with reconnecting. The family will learn to build the connection and inform/explain their perspective. In STEP 1, family members will CONNECT with one another again. You will guide them through the process of building the connection and improving communication. Once they have reestablished a positive connection with one another, the family will arrive at STEP 2, wherein they EXPLAIN their perspective to each other. In Step 2, you will guide the family through the process of learning how to effectively and sensitively communicate and become more informed about each other’s experiences.

I don’t think that was fair at all, John—saying that things were rougher for you. How can you possibly know what it has been like for me? You have been gone for months at a time. I have been here, yes! I haven’t been out in a warzone, but I have been here playing mother and father to our daughter, taking care of the house, paying all of the bills, making sure things don’t fall apart. Maybe that sounds easy to you. But I’d like to see you try it for a day. How do you think it is for me, not knowing if you are alive?

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Groups by James Lingard
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